Fertig gelesen: You Suck

isotopp image Kristian Köhntopp -
February 10, 2007
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Will sagen, nach Bloodsucking Fiends hab ich jetzt mal eben You Suck weggehauen. “For my readers, by request” schreibt Christopher Moore in seine Widmung, und in der Tat hat er sich Mühe gegeben - “You Suck” setzt glorios fort, was “Bloodsucking Fiends” begonnen hat.

Die Hälfte des Buches besteht aus Tagebucheinträgen von Abby Normal, 16 Jahre alt, Goth Chick, und stolz darauf, ihrem Dunklen Lord und seiner Countess zur Hand gehen zu dürfen. Abby ist nicht auf den Mund gefallen, was die beiden Cops aus dem ersten Teil gar nicht gut bekommt.

Und das geht so:

“Hey”, said the broken clown girl. “You guys cops?”

Cavuto hit the window button on his door but the ignition was off, so the window didn’t budge. “Go away, kid. Why aren’t you in school? Do we need to take you in?”

“Winter break, brain trust,” said the kid.

Rivera couldn’t hold the laughter in, and he snorted a little trying to. “Move along, kid. Go wash that shit off your face. You look like you fell asleep with a Magic Marker in your mouth.”

“Yeah,” said the kid, examining a black fingernail, “well, you look like someone pumped about three hundred pounds of cat barf into a cheap suit and gave it a bad haircut.”

Rivera slid down in his seat and turned his face toward the door. He couldn’t look at his partner. He was sure that if it was possible for steam to come out of someone’s ears, that might be happening to Cavuto, and if he looked, he’d lose it.

“If you were a guy,” Cavuto said, “I’d have you in handcuffs already, kid.” “Oh, God,” Rivera said under his breath.

“If I were a guy, I’ll bet you would. And I’ll bet I’d have to send you to the S and M ATM, because the kinky shit is extra.” The kid leaned down, so she was eye level with Cavuto and winked.

That was it. Rivera started giggling like a little girl.